Mantaray

I feel the suns rude rays hit my closed line of sight. I don't want to get up but staying down sounds even more irritable. Cracking my eyes slightly open, I look over to my clock. "Goddamn, three already?" Looking over to my side I see nothing, just an empty space on my bed. Figures he'd just leave and not even wake me. I turn over on my back, kicking the clump of blankets off as I go, until they're just a heap of contortedness at the edge of my bed. I sit up and look around enough to at least locate my boxers. Spot them by the window. Throwing my legs over the side and placing both feet firmly on the ground, I stand and groggily walk toward the window. My hands finds the string to the blinds, I pull it, raising the blinds higher. Blinding me to the world for a brief second. Then turning towards my body length mirror, I bask in the image that is me. Naked and radiant, as the sun illuminates my near perfect figure. Placing my hand over my evident hip bone, I look down toward my stomach and notice the residue on my stomach and chest. Shit I need to clean this off but I don't want to shower. I use my index finger and trace along my form. Feeling the now dried cum from the earlier hours of the morning. Nah, fuck it, I'll just get a towel wet and clean myself off. Even with it being pretty much dry it should clean up quickly. Then I can get dressed and go downstairs. Maybe see if that prick is back while I'm at it.

Kurai

Lately, more frequently these thoughts come again. Wondering why and why bother. Yet so much more. Though no true meaning arises to explain or excuse them. Looking out into the world I see no use for but don't but do want to leave, I wonder. Besides the changes I knew were to come, though I was unsure of the when and whom. Can't help but ponder like usual when I get in this state "what now?" I know not of regular feelings and question what I have felt, if it ever was something. I feel I am reverting. Not sure if what was tried before could work or seemingly work, if I made that effort. I see twos everywhere. Unless it understandable to be one. But I think I get it. Though looking through the glass looks enjoyable, it is not what was to be. Maybe. I've paid witness to the destruction of my wavering will. Burning down passages before or as soon as they appear. Just to expect, yes expect. The ending result surely to come, even if not now. Many wont get it. Sometimes I don't get it. If it changes I know this reality will have had been brought down. And if I miraculously survive to experience it well, maybe this will have been considered my now not so silent whine to the world. Maybe I can unearth what has been sprouted and spewed. To place elsewhere so that it may flourish and take shape. But I don't see it happening soon. And I know it is in jeopardy of dwindling away. Yet it matters little and greatly to me. Guess using the usual strategy of "one day at a time", should suffice for now..............Should.

I want to paint it black

For so long have I been alone. No light, no company. Just black. Wasn't til later on did I even discover a mirror to even see my own reflection. Hmmm.....white completion, fair skin, almost blue eyes but seems there a darker color intertwined......what is it? And white hair......huh who'd of thought. I eventually broke that mirror, figured what good do I need of luck. I'm not the supersticious type. And then I heard someone, but here? I went down to investigate, traveling lighty through the dark corriders. I've walked them so much I know exactly where to go to get to the first floor. I carefully looked through the door leading to the entrance. Never thought I'd come to this area again. Pretty much gave up on the idea of ever leaving. After all, I have no family, no friends. Heck I don't even have proper attire haha. And then I saw her.

Le first thing.

Okay so this blog will pretty much be an insight to the ones in my mind. And sometimes stuff I just wanna put out there.  Especially since so many inhabit my mind and more keep coming ^^ So if you like it um.....yay lol, if not I'm not offended. I know what level my writing's at lol. But if you don't get it or enjoy it....O well haha.  And if you can't stand obscene language, thoughts or what not, don't read.